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Cracking the Boy Code (PDF)
How to Understand and Talk with Boys
All too quickly, talkative, affectionate young boys seem to slip away. Adolescents may be transformed overnight into reclusive, seemingly impenetrable young people who open up only to their friends and spend more time on devices than with family. How do you penetrate this shell before they are lost to you?
Drawing on decades of experience garnered through thousands of hours of therapy with boys, Cracking the Boy Code explains how the key to communicating with boys is understanding their universal psychological needs and using specific, straightforward communication techniques. Coverage includes:
- Why it's important to understand the psychological needs of boys
- How to talk to be heard, and listen to understand
- The crucial role of non-verbal cues
- Learning the universal tone that helps boys listen
- Motivating boys to become their authentic selves
- Using purposeful work to teach boys self-respect and confidence
- Reducing stress and creating greater closeness between boys and caregivers.
Essential reading for parents, caregivers, teachers, youth workers, coaches, and others who want to make a real connection with the boys in their lives.
Adam J. Cox, Ph.D is a clinical psychologist whose work includes thousands of hours interviewing children. His research includes a multi-year global research project, Locating Significance in the Lives of Boys, for the International Boys' Schools Coalition, during which he interviewed students and teachers in the US, UK, Canada, Singapore, South Africa, New Zealand, and Australia, from a wide variety of social and educational backgrounds. A sought-after therapist and frequent speaker on the psychology of boys, he is author of the acclaimed books On Purpose Before Twenty, Boys of Few Words and No Mind Left Behind. Cox lives in Rhode Island and shares his wisdom in his newsletter Family Matters at DrAdamCox.com.
"Adam Cox unpacks in simple language the intricacies of communicating with boys. As a teacher of boys I learnt from every page – the book is an educational revelation resulting from remarkable face to face research, and provides an exceptional tool to help parents and teachers understand what makes boys tick."
David Anderson B.A, Dip TG, B.Ed, Cert. of Care, Sydney Australia IBSC Jarvis/Hawley Award Baltimore USA 2017
"Cracking the Boy Code offers a thoughtful, accessible guide to developing meaningful communication with the boys in our lives. Adam Cox’s insights, grounded in practical wisdom cultivated over decades of clinical work with boys, provide readers with compelling possibilities for using non-verbal cues, tone of voice, hands-on activity, and empathetic listening to connect with boys in a manner both deep and enduring. Above all, Cracking the Boy Code recognizes that boys have a lot on their minds, and urges all of us to take them seriously as potential partners in dialogue. Dr. Cox’s latest work is both inspiring and instructive."
Dr. John M. Botti, Head of School, The Browning School
"Adam Cox’s Cracking the Boy Code will become a go to resource for parents, caregivers, teachers and professionals. His deep understanding of boys and how to provide what they need from the adults in their lives, is reflected in each chapter with positive, sage advice and strategies. The real benefactors of this book will be boys, who have adults in their lives who read this book! "
Mary Gauthier: Executive Director, Greenwood Centre for Teaching and Learning, Greenwood College School, Toronto
"Adam Cox is surely the most important and original writer today on raising boys to be good men. Cracking the Boy Code is full of wisdom about the way boys communicate, think and relate. This is a powerful guide for parents, educators and counselors who strive to help boys be their best selves."
Bradley Adams is the past Executive Director of the International Boys’ Schools Coalition and is now an educational consultant
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How to Understand and Talk with Boys