How to Hold Space as a Workshop Facilitator

The role of the workshop facilitator is multifaceted and paradoxical. We want to be true to ourselves, but we are also the container for everything that happens in the group. As such, we must lay aside our personal preferences in service to the individual and collective needs of the participants. At the same time, we are called to bring the greatest possible authenticity to this work. We don’t have to be perfect, but our integrity has to shine through everything we do because it will serve as the tuning fork for the integrity of the participants. Marie-Louise von Franz offers a wonderful description of this powerful dynamic:

People blossom in the surroundings of a woman who is in the right relationship with herself, because then she is rather like the positive mother-goddess who makes corn grow. But if the relationship with her own inner self is wrong, she is more likely to emanate the effects of the death goddess Hecate, and put a blight of death over those around. It is interesting to watch the effects one has, rather than one’s deeds.

Do we adopt a workshop leader’s persona? Or does workshop facilitation simply require a deepened and expanded sense of self, of who we are in our usual day-to-day interactions with others? One in which we consciously step back from personal concerns and ego purposes, invite a larger sense of spaciousness and possibility, and open ourselves to the alchemy of the group process. The group consists of unique individuals and encompasses all the hopes and longings, goodwill and mixed emotions, synergy and tensions among us. Together we comprise a third body, in Robert Bly’s terms. We are held in a transpersonal realm in which the whole is bigger than the sum of its parts.

In the Leadership Training Program with Marion Woodman and her team, we were offered the words Invite, Allow, and Attend. To those I have added Gentle, Motion, and Expand. We might say that both yin and yang energies are needed in order to create effective workshops. Verbs of the yin, or feminine, dimension might include allow, receive, savor, explore, dwell, circumambulate, peregrinate, experience, germinate, muse, ruminate, devote, cherish, process, resonate, surrender, and yield. Whereas yang, or masculine, verbs would include discern, discriminate, focus, strive, accomplish, persevere, master, maximize, formulate, organize, prioritize, and expand.

However, while yin and yang are both essential for our workshops (and life in general), it is the receptivity of the feminine realm that welcomes soul: the capacity to wait and attend, to surrender the agenda to what is unfolding in the present moment, and to cherish the idiosyncratic expressions of uniqueness that emerge in the group. Ann Ulanov describes this as “the stuttering passions and stammering aspirations” that belong to the wholeness and holiness of feminine wisdom.

As workshop leaders, we put ourselves in service to our participants. We might ask ourselves: What would I be hoping for if I came to this workshop? How can I make this workshop as rich as possible? How I can serve those who come most effectively? What would allow them to drop more deeply into their own process? 

Our role is not to determine what our participants need most or to enchant them with promises of personal transformation, but to invite them into a safe and open space in which they can discover, in Rilke’s beautiful words, “the possibility of being.” Theologian and writer Henri Nouwen reminds us that in order for new life and creativity to emerge, “the first thing we need is an open receptive place where something can happen to us… a space where people are encouraged to disarm themselves, to lay aside their occupations and preoccupations and to listen with attention and care to the voices speaking in their own center.” Nouwen’s words describe our work as workshop leaders as well.

Of course, we have to be well-prepared in every way. We have to know our material and communicate it effectively. But that’s only half the task. An important dimension of your role as a workshop facilitator is allowing your participants to see that your heart is open to them and you want to be of service. Be real, and don’t be afraid of your own imperfection. Without that transparency, no amount of brilliant content will reach them as deeply as you hope. If you come to your facilitation with an attitude of receptive devotion and creative resonance, your participants will feel this, and they will blossom. Your open heart will invite theirs.

Would you trust a workshop leader who came from a position of unquestioned authority and expertise, and did not share her own humanity with the group? Personally, I look for openness and transparency and the capacity to listen, resonate, and respond—not for someone who claims to have it all figured out (whatever it might be) and will now show me how to do the same.

I suggested earlier that workshops are most powerful and effective when they evolve out of our own passions. Don’t be afraid to show participants your enthusiasm for your subject; it will ignite theirs. You are the tuning fork in the group. Let yourself vibrate with what you love, and they will resonate with you. As Jungian writer Helen Luke said, “Every good teacher knows that on her love for the subject she is teaching depends her ability to pass it on to others. Responding to her love with heart and mind together, she so recreates the subject that others in their turn may respond.”

Set the tone, and be generous. Don’t hold anything back for next time; give each workshop everything you’ve got. You can trust that the creative well will fill up again for your next one.

It’s helpful to reread your brochure before you start detailed planning, so you don’t miss any of the key elements in your workshop description. Then check in during your preparation to ensure that you’re including what you promised. If it turns out that the workshop shapes up a little differently than you’d anticipated, you can address this in the group. I have never encountered any objection to a somewhat changed workshop agenda or schedule, but here again, transparency is important.

If possible, try to offer more than you have promised. After reviewing the brochure and workshop description, I often reflect on how the workshop or retreat will take shape and how I can offer something extra. For example, in a Jungian series, I might offer an optional Sunday afternoon DVD-and-popcorn session to watch a documentary about the writer whose work we are studying: Marie-Louise von Franz, Marion Woodman, Helen Luke, James Hillman, or someone else whose work we’ve been dealing with. These extra sessions are always well-attended and much appreciated.

Similarly, at the end of a weeklong summer intensive or a twelve-week writing circle, I invite everyone to a potluck lunch and extra afternoon session. I provide soup or salad and everyone brings whatever they like: various nibbles, cheese and fruit, bread. After lunch, we settle into our final afternoon of open readings, and everyone has ten minutes to share something from the week’s writing.

In workshop facilitation, abundance is everything. Rather than promising a list of workshop take-aways or the assurance of personal transformation, think in terms of providing a rich and soulful experience and inspiring material. If you come to your preparation with a generous heart and aim to offer more than you’ve promised, you can’t go wrong.

Stay clear about who you are and how you want your workshops to evolve. Resist any form of hype, and don’t allow yourself to be swept up in the general assumption that “more and bigger” is more important than growing more fully into our lives and stories. When I look at online websites, I often see a plethora of “packages” offering every kind of transformation—psychological and spiritual, personal and professional, physical and emotional. Usually, these packages or bundles promise to leave the buyer confident, empowered, and basking in their own magnificence. While I do not want to diminish anyone’s offerings, this is not what I have yearned for in my own life, and it’s not what my website or workshops offer. Give careful thought to how you describe your own hand-crafted offerings in a way that recognizes the unique needs of potential clients. Stay true to your own vision and allow it to guide you. 

Keep things dynamic by exploring new creative directions and possibilities that excite you so you can share them with your groups. This is particularly helpful if you have returning participants who come with an expectation of something new in store for them. You may decide to stay with a workshop structure or template that is tried and true, but it’s a good idea to add in new content, new elements, and new creative explorations.

It’s very important to know your own limits. How much can you do as well as you would like at any given time? How many souls can you tend to and how will you know if you are spreading yourself too thin? How many women can you comfortably keep track of at the same time? At what point do you feel depleted or burned out? For me, the number is forty to fifty, usually spread over two or three groups. More than that and I can lose track of who is struggling with a sick partner or parent, who has a current health issue or is grieving the loss of someone close to her, or who will be away on vacation for several weeks during the series. Once we begin to lose track of the important changes in people’s lives, it may be time to review whether we have taken on too much and need to consider cutting back in the future.